Harrison? Can we have a moment? Awesome, thanks. No, I don't want to wax your chest, don't worry. I read something today, something that upset me a little more than that questionable chili I ate a few weeks ago, and I need to bring this up with you immediately.
We've been together a long time, you and I. My friends all looked at me funny when they were hanging Scott Baio posters on the wall and I was frustrated with SuperTeen Magazine for their lack of Blade Runner pinups back in the '80s. I was on the end of many a questionable look when I declared my love for the devil-may-care Han Solo over the blonde farmboy from the stars, Luke Skywalker. But I was right in the end, wasn't I? Haven't I held the moniker of RoeSolo for well over a decade now? What I'm trying to get at here is, you know I come to you from a place of love and not snark. Which is huge for me.
So here it is, Harrison. I'm going to be straight with you. Do NOT make Indiana Jones 5. Just... don't. Leave my memory unsullied, can't you? Shia LeBeouf? Really? As the heir to your legacy? I say thee nay. Shia in Transformers? Entertaining. Shia about to pick up your fedora in the last movie? Hell to the no.
Must I appeal to Spielberg on this? Can't you just take what I'm saying at face value? Look at Lucas - he's a laughing stock to my generation. Sure, he's rolling naked in money and wearing a Jar-Jar Binks mask, but he's lost all credibility with the Gen Xers who worshipped him. For crying out loud, he was going to feature NSync in Attack of the Clones - can you trust his judgement any longer? Don't go there, Harrison. Please. Let Steven go down the path that leads to the Dark Side, but please, PLEASE - just don't.
Thank you for your time. Now I'm going to watch the director's cut of Blade Runner and remember the good times.
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4 comments:
Speaking of the good old days and Blade Runner, doesn't it seem like a shit ton of classic geek movies were released in 1982?
Blade Runner
ET
Star Trek II
Tron
Poltergeist
The Thing
The Dark Crystal
The Road Warrior
That's a big time list and I'm sure there are more I'm not thinking of.
Truly it was the Year of the Nerd.
Should we all be pining for 1982?
So true, I tried to bite my tongue because I went with Ian and his parents who loved "Indiana" so much and figured maybe there's just something i'm not getting here because I'm not a diehard-but clearly between the comments you made (and the other Harry lover, Rose)regarding the film, I was not insane. That movie was ridiculous. Of course my father in law loved the whole Roswell ending, i was just like ok, done.
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